The Emperor’s Daughter - Chapter 153

However, I couldn’t surrender.

All that self-sacrifice collapsed in one thought.

What if it broke? What if it crumbled? Suddenly, I was scared. What if I never saw her bright smile again? What was I supposed to do if it broke? The blockage in my chest tightened my breathing.

It was okay to not be on her side. I would be happy to see her from afar, and I would do anything to protect her. It’s okay if I would just watch over her. No, in fact, there was nothing more I’d wish for other than the opportunity of looking over her.

There was no purpose, no conviction, no reason to live. It was a life wherein I only waited for my own death. I continued to live in vain in memory of the Sabbath that my Lord gave me.

That’s how I let go of everything, but I thought I was glad that I was still alive. Never once did I imagine that I would want something.

“…I wish to watch over someone, which reminds me so much of you, grow up safely. Even if my soul isn’t granted salvation, I do not wish to resist my urge to continue living beside her.”

A wish that came with a risk to my own life.

It was okay not to allow it. Even if I were rejected and abandoned, I would find a way to protect her in my own way. What I had hoped for now was something other than the end of my life. That made me happy. I could now see what a burst of joy felt.

“I wish to see the future she will see. I want to be with her as she saw her bright life.”